Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the discursive dept

This week, both our winners on the insightful side come from PaulT in the conversation on last week’s comments post. In first place, it’s a response to a comment with a bunch of nonsense about COVID:

“99% percent survival rate”

Even if you weren’t lying about the figures, one day you morons might understand that death is not the only problem caused by this virus. Even if you’re happy to cause around 70 million people to die unnecessarily because you’re too weak to wear a mask for a few minutes while you shop, that’s not the only thing that would happen.

“The destruction of the world’s economy, supply chains, and work ethic – and the coming famine that will surely cause”

Meanwhile, in the real world, many things are back to normal. Apart from travel restrictions and the inevitable reduction in tourism money coming into my local area, life’s been pretty much back to normal for months. A combination of vaccines and people actually following mask mandates (going overboard actually, I saw tourists being more careful than locals, a reverse of what you’re normally expect) has meant that infection rates actually went down during August and September (when you’d normally expect a spike – my town’s occupation was around 60% higher with tourists during that period), meaning that we have virtually no restrictions locally apart from mask wearing indoors.

Signs are good that once international travel restrictions are lifted, next year could actually be a record time for the local economy and businesses are already preparing – one local supermarket has just reopened after a major refurbishment. Barring the plague rats causing a new strain that overcomes our best efforts, signs are good in many places that next year will be a bumper year for the economy, and that by the end of the decade this whole thing will be as distant and meaningless a problem in our daily lives as polio was when we were kids. That is, some of us are old enough to know people who were crippled by polio, but most people don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis because we did the right thing and got rid of that crap.

What’s the excuse where you live for you failing? Could it be selfish morons refusing to follow basic public health guidelines due to fictional “news”?

“untested gene altering”

If you have to lie, try picking lies that people aren’t already tired of debunking. They were laughably obvious falsehoods to begin with, but now you’re getting boring. All your statement says is “I don’t understand the science or the process”, and it’s getting boring now. At least we have the daily “right wing agitator who spread disinformation about COVID, dies from COVID” stories to entertain us while you voluntarily sacrifice yourselves.

“The hell with it, I’ll put up with the virus, thanks”

That’s your choice. The rest of us just reserve the right to tell you to get the fuck away from the rest of us in the meantime. You don’t have the right to risk others just because you think that everyone else should die for your convenience.

In second place, it’s a comment about the supposed labor shortage:

If I understand the whole “labour shortage” issue, there’s a bunch of people who were being actively exploited who got a taste of what life is like without that, and opted to retrain or change career paths. The management then found that there was no instant pool of people to exploit coming in, and they’re chosen to blame the availability of unemployment or other safety nets for their lack of incoming employees, rather than their own pay and conditions.

A lot of the evidence I’ve seen seems to be anecdotal, but I don’t believe I’ve seen any examples of a well regarded local employer struggling to hire and retain staff, they always seem to be well known shitbags or the type of places that say things like “we oppose any adherence to public health measures that would protect our staff”. So strange how people won’t risk their lives in the middle of a pandemic for an employer who’s known to barely pay minimum wage and robs your tips, while serving customers who will abuse you for doing your job.

For editor’s choice on the insightful side, it’s a comment from Blake C. Stacey about the notion that Section 230 is outdated because it hasn’t changed since it was written in 1996:

It’s deceptive to say that “the law” hasn’t changed since 1996 when case law certainly has. The EFF’s Ernesto Falcon made the point that given Roommates, section 230 might not even immunize the things that Haugen says need fixing.

Next, it’s a comment from Bloof about the exposure of law enforcement officers who joined the Oath Keepers:

I am shocked, shocked! What’s next, law enforcement officials being caught on camera colluding with far right groups so the can clear out so police can attack counterprotesters? Police departments running their own ‘unofficial’ secret social media packed with racism and far right lunacy? Police unions making it near impossible to fire people who have proven to be completely unfit to hold any sort of power? Police departments running recruitment ads on Brietbart? Police departments hiring people to train officers to shoot first, ask questions later and instill an ‘us vs them’ mindset? Police departments using qualified immunity as a selling point? Police departments leaking criminal records and other information to try and smear people of colour killed by officers even if they did nothing more than live in an apartment in the same building as an officer. Oh wait…

There’s been a long term project on the far right to fill police departments with their people to help disenfranchise minorities and give them the ability to play out their shitty whims without any sort of repercussions, so these leaks will keep on coming, and little will happen aside from slaps on the wrist, they sure as hell aren’t firing officers with far right ties as there’d be virtually no-one left in some forces.

Over on the funny side, our first place winner is Baron von Robber with a simple comment about Dan Bongino:

Politics is like traffic, the slow ones move right.

In second place, it’s an anonymous comment about the takedown of our Copymouse gear:

What logo? What I see is that you’ve imposed a copyright symbol on a diagram of a water molecule. Although why water would be copyrighted in 1923 escapes me…

For editor’s choice on the funny side, we start out with Stephen T. Stone‘s suggestion for what to do about Facebook:

The single best way to improve Facebook is to keep letting whoever handles their router updates do what they do. 🤣

Finally, it’s a comment from Pixelation about the South Korean ISP that thinks Netflix owes it money:

Maybe they’re on to something. Charge Netflix, and stop charging us. Free internet access, I love how these people think!

That’s all for this week, folks!

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Just for Covid sake

I wonder how it would be,
That those that refuse to wear a mask or take any cautions,
End up in the hospital and HAVE TO PAY the bills,
Rather then let Obama care deal with it.

Who would be getting rich now? without OBAMA CARE?
Now I get it,
These hospitals ARNT nice,
They arnt going to use this as a TAX write-off for the next 10 years.
Covid is fake, and it Bankrupts Obama care?


Nice to see my heartfelt comment get a response here.

In the interest of total transparency, I will add that in the last week there have been a few more cases here, with a total of 8 new cases recorded. We’re not out of the woods yet, but compared to last year it’s a significantly lower problem, and the total rate per 100k population (the figure the local government decide their policies upon) way lower than we were last year. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s still a spike, but the contrast to places where people are actively opposing the measures being taken is notable.

Here’s hoping everyone has a better 2022, but I fear that there may still need to be some major problems if people continue to buy into the fiction that basic short-term measures to fight this thing are worse than the disease (right up until they get infected themselves of course).


Hello, got your options for most insightful comment for next week:


Who could have guessed that the word ‘virus’ was the root password of the constitution.


It occurs to me that this whole game of characterizing people who are against mandatory vaccinations – and the vast erosion of personal liberty that entails – as, "anti-American" or unpatriotic, is really something that should be met head on.

I completely reject the notion that my being against getting injected with something against my will makes me a bad citizen.

I am pro-American. Those who wish to violate my bodily sovereignty are anti-American, because they are against the core principles that the country is supposed to stand for – a democratic republic, an open society with due process and the rule of law, a humble inward looking government constrained by checks and balances, a bulwark justice system more than strong enough to keep the tireless wolves of government and corporate tyranny at bay…

But those who would force this upon us… They corrupt all of that by defending the indefensible all the while hiding behind a cloak of faux patriotism. Those guys nauseate me. Really.


Section 230 is what makes the Internet a forum for free speech and debate saying its out out of date is like saying we don’t need traffic lights or TV sets since everyone has a laptop or a pc to watch streaming video on
Of course erasing section 230 will make Facebook and Google even stronger as they can afford high legal Bills that new startups would not be able to risk by hosting forums



"I completely reject the notion that my being against getting injected with something against my will makes me a bad citizen."

You’re free to avoid doing something you dislike, as you are free to avoid wearing clothes, or paying taxes. It’s just that you might get rejected by the rest of the society you wish to participate in if you don’t want to abide by the rules of doing so.



you’re not being forced to get the vaccine

you’re being told that getting the vaccine is the small price to pay for participating in a society ravaged by a viral epidemic

feel free to reject the vaccine, but don’t be surprised when people won’t hang out with you in public or hire you for jobs or whatever – "unvaccinated" is not a protected class and society has no obligation to let a disease vector ruin things for everyone else



It occurs to me that this whole game of characterizing people who are against mandatory vaccinations – and the vast erosion of personal liberty that entails

So a few minutes of your time, and a low risk of adverse side effects, along with the minor inconvenience of a mask, outweighs you causing someone else’s death by passing on a deadly virus. The vast erosion of personal liberty will come if you ever elect a competent dictator wannabe to office.



you have the right to reject anything you dislike.
But it would be more considerate Just to be nice.
I was in Shriners hospital when I was younger(allot younger) and some family Sneaked, a younger child threw the backdoor, to see his older brother. The younger child had been exposed to Measles.
Shriners at the time was 1 large room and 20-30 beds with kids in them. 6 of us around that 1 family, Got infected.
Isolation and I was OUT'(unconscious) for 3 weeks.

NOw they had Every right to sneak the kid in?? They had every right to have their kid infected??

You have every right, that the Cat lady down the street has.



It occurs to me that this whole game of characterizing people who are against mandatory vaccinations – and the vast erosion of personal liberty that entails – as, "anti-American" or unpatriotic, is really something that should be met head on.

I’m all for mandatory vaccinations and I don’t think those against it are un-American or unpatriotic at all.

Au contraire mon frere! You guys are the real patriots, giving up your lives to a preventable virus in the name of purging this once great country of as many of you stupid fucks as possible. Keep up the good work, dumbass! The world’s going to be a much better place for your children if you’re not around to keep your tradition of ignorance alive.



Those who wish to violate my bodily sovereignty are anti-American

Sure, Typhoid Karen. You have an absolute right to bodily sovereignty. Just not in America, maybe in Bir Tawil.

Do you have the right to put any substance in your body, such as cocaine or heroin? Or can the state use force to stop you or punish you for doing so?

Do you have the body sovereignty to go run on the freeway? Your legs, your choice, am I right? Or can the state use force to prevent you from walking wherever you want?

Do you have the body sovereignty to say anything you want? Can you say you are going to kill a high-elected official, or can the state use force to punish you?

Do you have the body sovereignty to practice whatever religion you want, even if said religion includes ritual animal sacrifice and cannibalism? Or can the state use force to punish you and prevent you from doing so?

Do you have the body sovereignty to look at any images you want? Even if they are illegal? Or can the state use force to stop and punish you?

Scary Devil Monasterysays:


"I completely reject the notion that my being against getting injected with something against my will makes me a bad citizen."

You mean that you being willing to endanger your fellow citizens for your convenience isn’t somehow "bad"?

Sorry, but yea, you’re a bad citizen. Every statesman of to help frame the foundation of the US – and most other countries – would be pretty clear about that.

"I am pro-American."

No, you really aren’t, when 640,000 dead are, to you, an acceptable price for other people to pay because you and people like you should be allowed to remain plague rats.

"But those who would force this upon us… They corrupt all of that by defending the indefensible all the while hiding behind a cloak of faux patriotism."

You mean like that Tyrannous George Washington when he forced vaccination on his entire army? Or when the Salk vaccine eradicated polio?

There’s nothing patriotic about you. There’s just a motherfucking moron who had the privilege of growing up in a society which had already eradicated polio and the measles as a leading cause of child mortality and handicap.

Any actual patriot would be the first one to stand up and get the shot even if all it meant was setting an example. People like you? If danger ever threatened the US – as it does now – you people are the first in line to squeak objections and scurry off to hide while the "bleeding-heart liberals" who don’t spend all day shouting slogans are left to do the heavy lifting and the sacrifice. You’re that obnoxious guy who in any disaster movie is the cowardly heel whose only role is to provoke the disgust of the audience. And to see that in real life doesn’t make it better.

Stop pretending. You can’t be arsed to pretend at being a patriot. You’ll argue up and down on the virtues of the US while going the extra mile not to have to fulfill or be part of any of them.

You and people like you are the main reason that today when the rest of the world say "only in america" we say it in sympathetic disbelief rather than wonder and awe.

That One Guysays:


What’s next, telling people that they have to get the heinous violator of personal freedoms known as a ‘driver’s license’ if they want to operate a vehicle on the road where there are other people, or that they are not in fact allowed to get blindingly drunk before they do so and there will be consequences if they do either of those?

Where will the violation of freedom end if people can be told that they aren’t allowed to put the lives and health of everyone around them at risk just because they prioritize their personal comfort over either of those things?


Re: Re: Re:

"filter out a virus 87 microns in size, you would not be able to breath while wearing it."

Do you understand the idea of being a parasite?
The Virus Needs a specific condition to Survive. YOU are that condition.
It has adapted from 1 form and another to Find the best(stupidest, unprotected) host.
A host that dose not know HOW to protect or create antibodies BEFORE it can Flourish INSIDE of you and make more of itself.
There was Little to be known about it, and has taken TIME to figure HOW this thing works and travels from 1 to another, as WELL as its Life expectancy OUTSIDE the body.
Sneeze on your hand and Wipe it on a Table and It MIGHT LAST 1 hour, as long as there is moisture from your SPIT.
But then it Must somehow GET into your Lungs. The easiest place to penetrate the body.
So, then someone Places their hand in the Mess on the table. And looks at it, and MIGHT inhale abit of the Virus.
That or YOUR BREATH, carries all kinds of stuff, including BAD BREATH. All that moisture you are CREATED FROM, gets expelled from your mouth and your breathing. And a Cotton or Absorbent Cloth over your face, MEANS you arnt spitting in peoples faces with all these Virus, and bad breath.

If they could be expelled from your But, we would try to put a cork in it. wouldnt help. We cant even get one in your Mouth and have you survive past your own intelligence.

That One Guysays:


It’s almost as though different viruses act differently…

Seat-belts don’t completely reduce automobile fatalities but I’m pretty sure they drastically reduce them. Looking both ways before crossing the street won’t completely eliminate the possibility that you’ll be hit by a passing vehicle but it certainly reduces the odds. Practicing good gun safety won’t completely eliminate the chance that something will go wrong and a bullet will find itself somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be but it certainly reduces the odds of that happening.



before the smallpox vaccine, we didn’t reach herd immunity for smallpox

after the smallpox vaccine, we reached herd immunity for smallpox

vaccines work better than catching (and possibly dying from) the disease you could’ve been vaccinated against

and while no vaccine is perfect, it’s still a better approach than relying on prayer, bleach, or horse dewormer

That One Guysays:

Re: Re:

Balderdash, if it’s not perfect then there’s no reason to do it, that’s why I’m a proud member of the ‘Routinely cross streets without looking while juggling loaded guns with the safeties removed’ party, and while it may be true that an alarming number of my fellows have been shot and/or hit by vehicles I’m sure that’s a complete coincidence that has nothing to do without our choices since we could never be wrong so clearly there’s no reason to change a thing.

That One Guysays:

Enjoy that boot, you asked for it

As I’ve noted in the past the funniest part about those complaining about how government’s are being downright tyrannical when it comes to dealing with Covid is that by and large it’s the maskholes and anti-vaxxer nutbags(but I repeat myself) that have given them all the excuse and justification they needed to do so by being such self-centered sociopaths, otherwise known as the people most likely to be making those complaints.

If people voluntarily took the steps required(wear a mask, self-quarantine when possible and social distance and avoid large gatherings when that’s not an option, get the bloody vaccine) then not only would covid’s impact be vastly less but various governments would have a much harder time imposing restrictions to force people to take those steps, but because of all the selfish jackasses the various government’s have been given all the excuses they need in the name of protecting the public from those people to crack the whip and grab more power.



They ain’t taking that boot off your back.

This was a thing before the pandemic. Look at corporate trends, government trends, industrial trends. Between demands for corporate loyalty, blind nationalism, and chasing standards on a never-ending chase for educational qualifications, chances are you’re already a serf even if you’re living in a 1st World economy unless you’re a part of the top 1%.

Scary Devil Monasterysays:

Re: Re:

We might as well stop trying to use reason here. This is the exact type of alt-right troll who’ll spend hours every day reminding themselves and everyone else what great patriots they are only to shrink like toadstools in summer sun whenever the nations asks them to do anything remotely inconvenient.

70+ million people who all grew up hollering about "America!" while somehow never learning what that actually means.

I wager that I, a Swede, know the constitution better than about 95% of these village idiots.


Re: Re: Re:

Why do you keep linking to that raving nutter whose shoddy website is easily disproven on every subject?

There might be a reason why the entire worldwide medical community is disagreeing with the lunatic – and it’s not because they are the ones lying to you. The fact that you apparently can’t find any other sources to link to should be evidence of that in itself.

I don’t wish death on people, but I am glad that you people are gradually thinning out your populations with lies so that the rest of us can get on with living in the real world.

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