Pudding-Brained 5G Conspiracies Somehow Get Even Dumber

from the you-need-help dept

We've made it repeatedly clear that 5G now exists in some kind of alternate reality, untethered from this complicated mortal plane. On one side, you've got telecom giants, hardware vendors, and some politicians busy pretending that 5G is a revolutionary game changer, something you just sprinkle around to create near Utopian smart cities, smart vehicles, and miracle cancer cures. On the other side, you've got an international cabal of conspiracy theorists with a head full of pudding, who think 5G gives them COVID or is a diabolical deep state, mind-surveillance tool.

While the "let's overhype 5G" set has quieted down some after data continues to show US 5G is largely underwhelming, the pudding-head conspiracy theorist side of the discussion has only accelerated. Some 5G conspiracy theorists have even been buying faraday-cage enclosed routers in the belief it protects them from 5G (despite the routers in question not even being wireless 5G). Worse, some have become violent in their delusions, whether that means burning down cell towers or setting dangerous traps for wireless technicians.

Just when you think 5G conspiracies have reached peak stupidity, somebody manages to raise the bar. Conspiracy theorists have long tried to claim that 5G caused COVID, or that COVID vaccines are part of some diabolical plan to track the public. Over in Italy, conspiracy theorists have been claiming that a tiny 5G-enabled microchip is being injected along with the COVID vaccine to spy on the public. Their proof? An engineering schematic for a guitar pedal, according to Mario Fusco, a senior software engineer at Redhat:

The schematic appears to be for a Boss MT-2 Metal Zone guitar pedal, something all the references to "gain," "treble" and a footswitch should have made clear to even a nitwit:

The irony continues to be that 5G simply isn't interesting or important enough to warrant either the hype or the conspiratorial bullshit. It's largely a modest evolutionary step toward lower latency, faster, and more resilient networks. And there's plenty of evidence to suggest it's less powerful and safer than many existing 4G technologies.

It's funny, but it's not funny. While there's been no hard proof shared yet, it's believed that Nashville bomber may have targeted an AT&T building because he'd been hoodwinked by this kind of bullshit online. Worse perhaps, the conspiracies encourage doubt in the effectiveness of the vaccine, ensuring fewer take it, in turn ensuring the recovery from the virus take longer and is more brutal than necessary.

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Filed Under: 5g, conspiracy theories, covid, guitar pedal, vaccines

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  1. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 6 Jan 2021 @ 9:52am

    Re: Re: More proof of the absolute failure

    Public education funding and curriculum in the US is controlled locally

    Nope. Depends on state law as well. And of course you can't forget No Child Left Behind at the federal level.

    Unless your local district has the finances to run entirely on it's own, (in which case it could be it's own private institution), there will be mandates coming down from on high that your local officials have no choice over. Wanna have free / reduced lunch for your kids? Well better have a internet content filter with logging and monitoring installed or those kids go hungry. Wanna have money for school supplies and transit? Better adopt a curriculum that teaches the stuff on the big standardized test. (That often gives away answers in it's questions, and is proof of nothing.) Oh and fire anyone at random based on no fault of their own. That teacher who brought up a kid from 3 grade levels behind to less than a year behind in 9 months? Fired. That teacher who did nothing all year and allowed her students to fall from 2 grade levels ahead to their current grade level? Give her a raise!

    The failure of Public Education in the US is the result of politicizing it's success rate. The law makes fast and efficient (read: cheap) testing the priority so that politicians and parents have stats to gloat or condemn over at the expense of the student's education. Add to that the fact that most parents don't even have the time nor education to actually help their kid's studies and it's little wonder why the US public school system is seen as nothing more than a glorified daycare. (Which is also why parents are angry about it's shutdown during the pandemic. School is daycare to them, so they can go work their multiple minimum wage jobs without worrying about their overgrown 13-year-old toddler being alone all day.)

    If you wanna fix this, you need to convince people where the fault actually lies: Their demands of instant perfection.

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