Yes, that's right, through the magic of ESPN holding a trademark on the term "Saturday Night Football", a Saturday was transformed into a Thursday. I've already contacted my nine-to-five employer to assure them that I was unaware of this sorcery and to see if I will be disciplined for not coming into work on Sathursday. They've assured me that they have no idea what I'm talking about.

And, of course, what makes all of this so damned infuriating is that ESPN's trademark is so unbelievably and obviously purely descriptive that it makes one wonder how in the world it was ever granted to begin with. The NFL's lawyers in particular appear to have been muzzled by whoever in the league is negotiating with broadcast partners, because ESPN's mark is just begging for opposition. Instead, we got "Thursday Night Football: Saturday Edition", which would make as much sense as "Thursday Night Football: Baseball Edition." Which is to say, no sense at all.